Being in the contraction.
Sunday, February 9, 2025.
“We train in the contraction.”
When a dear sister, Hannah, shared these words in one of her containers recently, the words reverberated throughout the entirety of my being.
We train in the contraction. Ouf. This is it. So much medicine lies within these five words.
Sometimes it may feel like our seasons of contraction are extended beyond bearable measure.
Sometimes they may be little flickers of time in space that we move through at lightening speed, barely noticing.
Nevertheless, they are felt, when we allow ourselves to notice them and to feel them. And they get to be the place where we make pivotal next steps. I’m not talking grand gestures, or necessarily ‘loud’ moments that the entire world sees. I’m talking the bold internal action we get to take, should we choose. Every now moment begins with a choice—whether that is something we want to believe is true or not. We may not always have full ability to direct the plot of the happenings outside of us. But within the contraction, in the micro and macro moments of tension, we still do get to make a choice as to how we are going to respond; and which sensations we are going to choose to feed or free ourselves from.
This reminds me of a concept taught on a more physical level back in my yoga teacher and functional movement training days—tensegrity.
The etymology of this word is = tension + integrity.
From an architectural standpoint according to dictionary.com, tensegrity is “the property of skeleton structures that employ continuous tension members and discontinuous compression members in such a way that each member operates with the maximum efficiency and economy.”
When I read this, what comes to mind is the external circumstance being the tension and our chosen state of being, being the discontinuous compression. For something to be discontinuous, it means that there are gaps, pauses, shifts, changes.
In order for something to be discontinuous, it requires a different form of thinking.
In order for us to release or soften the tension of an experience, it requires a different form of thinking.
It requires a different response than the one that created or is feeding the tension and the discomfort.
This shift in state also requires willingness.
When we are able to refine the balance between the tension and integrity with ourselves, we create a more sound structure or experience. Harmony if you will.
When we choose a state of being that is a reflection of integrity with ourselves, choices can suddenly seem more clear.
When we are honest with ourselves, little by little, we begin to notice more spaciousness—for me, this is part of ’the training in the contraction’.
We cannot have all of one without the other. Too much of one without the other will tip the scales; will create disharmony.
When we choose a particular way of being—whether that is wanted or unwanted—we are cosigning or making a silent agreement for more of that to make an appearance in our field.
What is one area in your life right now that you notice sensations of tension?
Something that when you think about it…
your shoulders creep up a little
you notice your jaw tighten
you notice your hands shift into fists
your teeth clench
you catch yourself holding your breath
your breath feels stuck in your chest
your toes begin to curl
There cannot be expansion without contraction.
Contraction gets to be where we practice holding sensation; or moving through changes in sensation.
It gets to be where we practice shifts in the story.
It gets to be where we practice pauses in how we are being, to notice that is isn’t serving what is actually wanted.
When you contemplate on whatever may be a current contraction in your life, what is one thing you can do right now to create even the subtlest shift?
Begin with a deep belly inhale and exhale.
Maybe a smile to your face.
Perhaps shake out your hands and feet.
Roll your shoulders down and back.
Allow your belly your soften.
Let that ONE thing feel easeful.
Hit publish on the thing you’ve already written and edited a thousand and one times.
Take a deep breath.
Go for a walk.
Replace that lightbulb.
Organize that bookshelf.
Hit backspace on that text—you don’t actually need to send.
Send a simple ‘I love you’ voice note.
ONE thing.
ONE thing to change your state of being.
ONE thing to shift how you experience time and space.
BE in the contraction, and disrupt the state of being that isn’t working for you.
Part of the training is being able to be with all parts of you that is experiencing the contraction—without making any of them wrong.
Practice being in the contraction.
And like tensegrity, millimetre by millimetre, inch by inch, breath by breath, practice new states of being. Train your system to respond in new ways to the contraction. Our nervous systems remember through repetition. Remind yourself, again & again, you are safe here. This is a training ground.
This life is a wild and wonderful training ground.
